It's Not Always Depression by Hilary Jacobs Hendel

Author:Hilary Jacobs Hendel [Jacobs Hendel, Hilary]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Random House Publishing Group
Published: 2018-02-05T23:00:00+00:00

Emotions Like to Be Named and Validated

We subjectively feel calmer when we know what emotions we are having. Ideally, we learn to name our emotions as children. But sometimes, for any number of reasons, we don’t learn to recognize emotions. There is scientific evidence that putting language on an emotion actually changes the brain, decreasing its arousal.3

Craig spent a wonderful weekend with his twenty-five-year-old daughter. When she left, he felt anxious. At first Craig had no idea why anxiety came up. He had had such a wonderful weekend with her. But then after focusing inward to see what emotions he had, he realized he felt two: gratitude and joy. I think this is such a great example to illustrate the power of emotion to raise anxiety. Both gratitude and joy are wonderful, but together they can become too much at times—tipping us into anxiety and moving us up the Change Triangle from core emotions to the inhibitory emotions corner. Once Craig labeled his feelings, the anxiety went away.

I teach all of my patients to label their emotions so they feel better. Just the act of naming and validating our emotions helps our bodies and minds relax. And it’s a key part of working the Change Triangle.

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